Steve’s Top 10 Alternate Plots for Dog Day Afternoon

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September 10, 2012 by NowhereButPop

By Steve Secular
  1. Three kidnappers pretend to be newspaper photographers to dognap an heiress’s prized chihuahua. But the rascally pooch escapes, leaving the hapless crooks on a wild DOG chase through the city. It’s a Dog Day Afternoon.
  2. Little do the grown-ups know, that when the adults are away, the dogs will play… poker that is! Every Thursday afternoon, when the Jefferton’s leave for work, their wily canines host poker with the neighborhood dogs. But when Smiley, their prized poodle wins it all from the baddest beagle in the town, it’s bad bad news, on this Dog Day Afternoon.
  3. It’s the worst heat wave in thirty years, and the small suburb of Pleasantwood has decided to cancel school for the day. In the summer heat, with no school to hold them, Petunia and Robert will discover the true meaning of friendship, and of love. On this Dog Day Afternoon.
  4. Cops and robbers. Robbers and cops. What do they have in common? Maurice, the city’s top canine detective. But when he’s murdered in a cocaine sting operation gone horribly wrong, there’s crooked fingerprints all over it. Cops chasing cops. Cops chasing robbers. Robbers, they don’t want to get caught, so they’re trying to chase the crooked cops! It’s a free-for-all for the ages! You don’t want to get caught, on this Dog Day Afternoon.
  5. Harry Petersman is a cat person. He just can’t get enough of ‘em! But when his elderly uncle dies, leaving him his 27 dogs, Harry is gonna have to come face to face with his biggest PET peeve! It’s a real Dog Day Afternoon.
  6. Sally loves playing mahjong at the local library. The only problem…she’s blind. Luckily, Sally’s trusty seeing eye dog Louis always gets her there on time. But when a mix-up with another blind woman at a crosswalk leaves Sally with the wrong seeing eye dog, will she ever make it to the library on time? It’s gonna be a wild ride, on this Dog Day Afternoon.
  7. In the future, man has become all but extinct, living in fear of their canine overlords, the Canintu. But Jackson Rodney has discovered the key: A way to travel into the past. He’ll travel back to 1983 Los Angeles, the site of the impending apocalypse, to make sure the horrific future never comes to pass. Even if it takes him one pup at a time. It’s a real Dog Day Afternoon.
  8. In the second installment of the world-famous Canintu Saga, Jackson Rodney returns to 1997 and finds he’s inadvertently made his own present-day even worse. Much MUCH worse. The Canintu have now begun creating an army of genetically engineered man-dogs, the Dogmanintu. Looks like this afternoon just got started. Dog Day Afternoon II: Hair of the Dog.
  9. It’s the exciting third installment of the Canintu Saga! Following the events of Dog Day Afternoon II, Jackson Rodney has become overlord over humankind, Canintu, and Dogmanintu. But he’s begun abusing his power, and tries to resurrect the long-forgotten feline race, hoping to bring about the end of the world! It’s going take the bravery of his teenage son, Trent, to stop him. Along the way, Trent teams up with a Canintu boy, as the two learn that maybe you can’t really judge a book by its cover. It’s a Dog Day Afternoon III: Hot Diggity Dog Day.
  10. Al Pacino plays a man trying to rob a bank in order pay for his lover’s sex change operation. But slowly, he starts to reflect society’s own anxieties of the day, and his kind heart allows the people in the bank to connect to the mysterious man holding the gun. It’s a genuine slice of life, on this Dog Day Afternoon.
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