Everything You Ever Needed to Know About Fleetwood Mac in Under Six Minutes

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June 19, 2013 by NowhereButPop

By Andrew Doscas

Fleetwood Mac, like most bands, is at its best whenever there is strife and tension between the band members.  However unlike most bands, most of the tension comes from the fact that the two leaders of the band: Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham used to date.  So not only do you have the usual creative tension between butting egos, but on top of that you have the romantic tension between two people madly in love with each other, but also hate each other at the same time…as lovers tend to do.

For those of you who don’t know, Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham are pretty much a real life version of Ross and Rachel from Friends.  Now that we’ve established an allegorical paradigm for you to follow, let’s get on with the show.

Everything we’ve ever needed to know about Fleetwood Mac can be found in their 1997 reunion show entitled The Dance.  And this fact is never more evident than when they performed the song “Silver Springs”, an outtake from 1977s Rumours.  Their performance not only sums up the band as a whole, but more importantly the relationship between Nicks and Buckingham.  Here’s what they were thinking as they were performing the song.

0:00-0:50

Christie McVie is completely bored out of her mind and would rather be in the middle of an active volcano than be forced into a reunion concert.  Mick Fleetwood is just happy to be there and thinks to himself “so long as Stevie and Lindsey don’t try and kill each other we’ll be back in business baby!”.  As soon as Stevie starts singing she’s instantly reminded of Lindsey (whom she wrote the song for) and thinks to herself “Lindsey, you asshole, if only you weren’t an egotistical jerk we could be together and things would be perfect”.

0:51-1:27

Christie McVie is thinking to herself “When am I supposed to come in with the backing vocals for this shitty song?” John McVie is in the background trying to stay as far away from his ex-wife as he possibly can without making it too obvious…but it is.  Stevie Nicks’ anger has turned to sadness and she reiterates to herself that she loves him more than anyone else could, including whomever Buckingham was with at the time…and she wants him to know this.  Buckingham in the shadows is trying to act cool and collected but is thinking to himself “Maybe I kinda fucked up somewhere along the way with this one”.

1:28-2:10

By this point Christie is wondering how long must this song go on and if anyone would even notice if she stopped playing the keyboards.  At this point Stevie also turns to Lindsey to let him know that not only is this song about him, but that now it is being directed towards him.

2:11-2:54

At first Stevie thinks to herself “Yeah asshole was it worth it?” before we see Buckingham starring at Nicks hoping to God that she doesn’t see him starring.  We then shift to Christie McVie who now realizes that the two of them are probably going to get it on immediately after the show.  After this revelation the screen goes back to Nicks who senses Buckingham’s stares and telepathically communicates with him to him that she knows he still wants to be with her, but the only way that’ll happen would be if he were to admit his wrong doings.  Lindsey ignores her proposition and comes up with another idea.

2:55-3:39

“You know what Stevie?” Buckingham thinks to himself,  “I’m not gonna tell you how much I care about you, I’ll just play one of the most beautiful and sorrow filled solos ever to show you that I care”.  For all intents and purposes, this is the child that the two of them never had.  This solo means more to the two of them than it could ever mean to anyone else.  In the background Mick is thinking to himself “Don’t fuck this up Lindsey, don’t fuck this up”.  As the solo ends Stevie says to herself “That was good Lindsey, but watch this”.

3:40-4:11

“So far so good” Mick says to himself with a cautious sigh of relief.  He realizes though that the next two minutes will either be amazing or terrifying, depending on the emotional volatility of two humans who are more than perfect for each other but refuse to be together.  Lindsey goes back to the background and tries to recollect himself and repeats to himself “Don’t let her get a rise out of you, don’t let her get a rise out of you.  That’s what she wants, stay strong”.  Meanwhile Stevie tries to calm herself down and repeats to herself “don’t let him get to you, don’t let him know how much you still care, don’t let him get to you, don’t let him know how much you still care”.

4:12-4:50

Feeling a combination of the following emotions: anger, sadness, joy, lust, love, hatred, resentment, and hope….all to their fullest Stevie decides “Fuck it, I’m gonna let this jerk-off know exactly how I feel all through the obvious lyrics that I obviously wrote about him”.  Lindsey takes the bait and as any man would in that situation decides to goad and antagonize Nicks and tells her to “do her worst”.  He’s put himself in one of the most dangerous positions any man could ever put himself in.  “Alright Stevie, I’m all ears” he shouts to her.  Meanwhile John McVie takes a few steps back hoping to avoid debris from the ensuing emotional maelstrom.  As the camera pans back to Nicks and Buckingham, who are pretty much having sex emotionally right now, they scream out at the top of their lungs for all to hear “I love you Stephanie”, “I love you too Lindsey”.

4:51-5:04

After all the lovey-dovey Stevie does however want to reiterate that even though she still and will always love him, Lindsey was kinda a dick for about 15 years.  At precisely 5:02, Stevie Knicks gives him The Mantis Stare.  The mantis stare is named after praying mantises, because of the fact that whilst copulating the females begin to feast on the males after tearing their head clean off.  What the mantis stare is, is a stare that a woman will give after hearing the last thing she wanted to hear at that specific moment, from a boyfriend or husband, or someone she’s sleeping with who she has feelings for.  The look basically means “I really want to tear your stupid head off your fucking shoulders right now….and then maybe mate with your corpse”.  I’ve been given The Mantis Stare only once.

5:05-5:33

In a brief fit of equal parts fury and love Stevie decides that she will forever love Buckingham, if not sometimes out of spite.  Christie McVie who almost fell asleep, suddenly jolts back awake and remarks to herself “Well that wasn’t so bad”.  Behind Nicks, Mick Fleetwood is grinning like an idiot and in a maniacal burst of joy shouts out “WE’RE BACK BABY!”.  After the song is over Stevie Nicks has to recover from the emotional drainage of the past five minutes.  Maybe a post-coital cigarette would help.  Meanwhile away from the background Buckingham realizes “I definitely fucked up with this one”.

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One thought on “Everything You Ever Needed to Know About Fleetwood Mac in Under Six Minutes

  1. […] Everything You Ever Needed to Know About Fleetwood Mac in Under Six Minutes (nowherebutpop.com) […]

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