The Thought Tapes Vol. III: What Could Have Been

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August 2, 2013 by NowhereButPop

By Andrew Doscas

I really, really wanted to write an article about prostitution, taxes, and slavery, as those are three of the oldest human concepts that I could think of.  I loved the idea of it, somehow trying to encapsulate how and why they’ve been around for thousands of years and what do they all say about humanity.  But the execution was way off.  In fact everything that I had written was horrible; it was pure shit.  There was no heart to it, no flare or wit, or anything.  It was me simply describing what they were.  There was nothing to it; in essence, it had no reason to be born, and so it wasn’t.

This is why I hate proof reading and editing because as soon as I’m finished I immediately believe that everything I’ve just written is pointless, flawed, and poorly executed.  In the case of the article I wanted to write, I had four pages written already before I decided to abort it.  It’d didn’t offer anything new or exciting and that troubled me greatly.  Even now I have this need, this drive to somehow flesh it out and complete it but there’s no way that I can.  There’s ambition but no direction.  Imagine a leaky faucet set to high pressure; all the water is spraying everywhere, in every direction, when all you need is one focused stream.  That’s my thought process on writing this failed article.  Realistically, there’ve only been maybe two other times where I’ve scraped an idea completely because I wasn’t able to formulate or articulate the ideas I had in my head.

I really have nothing else to say right now, but I still have to fulfill the 500 word quota that is “The Thought Tapes”.  The only thing that’s going through my mind right now is that I now a lot…like too many people, both men and women, who bear an uncanny resemblance to David Bowie.  I’m listening to Led Zeppelin’s Physical Graffiti right now, and I am incredibly tempted to write an album review for Physical Graffiti.  What’s holding me back is fear that like the article I wanted to write, I won’t be able to aptly express myself and my thoughts about the album.  And because it is my second favorite album of all time, if I don’t do the justify it fully deserves, I will be doing the album a great disservice.

Also I feel as though of late my writing style has become more formalized, more eloquent, and less colloquial than it has been at times.  I wonder why this is. As to my own personal writing style, there are two distinct avenues that I pursue.  One is the very fluid, academic, and elaborate style, most aptly characterized in the article “How to be a Villain…”, and the other, the more colloquial, conversational, gutter-mouth style can best be witnessed in the article “Top 10: Most Disappointing Moments in Yankees History”.  One represents the more cerebral aspect, and the other represents a


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