Read Between the Lines of Harry Potter

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November 16, 2013 by NowhereButPop

By Andrew Doscas

Arguably the most popular series of all time, the Harry Potter series is one of great intrigue based upon the fact that Rowling constructed an entire universe for our literary pleasure.  What naturally comes with creating an entire fictional universe is a sense of inclusion and immersion for the reader, a feeling like they are actually a part of the action and in with the characters.  The universe even folds back into itself at many times throughout the seven book, such as the revelation that Tom Riddles’ diary, introduced in book 2 is actually a horcrux, as revealed in book 6.  This example along with the slight reference to Ravenclaw’s diadem in book 6, which is eventually revealed to be a horcrux as well, are all things for die-hard fans to pick up on and notice.  It’s as if Rowling is rewarding her fans’ knowledge of the subject matter.

            Now, I haven’t read any Harry Potter book in over six years, since the last one came out, but reading the entire series, there were some things that I picked up on that weren’t overtly stated or revealed.  Below is a list of five examples that I assumed based on reading between the lines.  Whether or not the lines that I was reading between were actually real is a subject for a different time.

 

Dumbledore and McGonagall had relations

Regardless of what J.K. Rowling said about Dumbledore’s sexuality, I never once got the impression that he was gay.  In fact, I always thought that he and McGonagall had a thing going on.  I just figured, she was his right hand woman, she always had his back, they were on a first name basis…like all the time, it made sense to me.  Who else called Professor McGonagall, by her first name.  And at his funeral, she was way more upset than the situation called for.  The kind of upset maybe that comes around when you lose the love of your life?  They had a personal relationship that went beyond their working relationship.  Is it so hard to believe that they got down and dirty every once and a while?  I mean they’re old, not dead.

The justification for Dumbledore being gay, I thought was always very weak.  Even when I was reading The Deathly Hallows, I just thought he was backing up his friend.  I never interpreted him deciding to be evil with some guy whose name sounds like Glen Grunwald, to be a sign of love.  I way I see it, he’s just backing up his friend.  If Steve or Ian came up to me and said “Hey, listen, I’m gonna be evil and try to take over the world.  Do you have my back?”  I’d say “Of course”; I’m just backing my friend up.  Because that’s what good friends do after all, help each other take over the world.

Sirius Black probably has the worst case of body lice

He can turn into a dog, right?  He spends most of his time as a dog, right?  He’s mentioned multiple times that he has had fleas as a dog, right?  I’d assume that the fleas don’t magically disappear when he turns back into a human, and then magically reappear when he wants to be a dog.  If that’s the case, I’m sure everyone he’s come into close proximity has body lice as well.

Voldemort and his snake were fucking

Even though Tom Riddle can’t feel love, he’s still a human being, who I’m sure has some sexual urges.  Nagini makes the most sense.  Here is a guy who always has his snake around him, they’re almost always in physical contact, they can communicate (the building block of any successful relationship), and he put his soul into her.  Granted he made her a horcrux, but he put his soul into her (amongst other things).  In most other instances that would be a grand gesture of love and devotion.  Even though it was just a dark magic mechanism, it’s still a romantic gesture.  He loved and trusted her enough to house a shred of his eternal soul.  Also when Voldemort is resurrected in The Goblet of Fire, he comes back looking like a snake.  He chose to adapt the form of Nagini, who coincidently enough was also introduced in that very same book.  It’s more socially acceptable if they look alike, then if he just returned as a regular looking guy.  If she’s a snake, and he’s part snake then the accusations of bestiality wouldn’t be as grotesque.  Think about it people.

Harry Potter is a pretty shitty wizard

The kid goes to school for six years on how to be a wizard, and all he knows are two spells: expelliarmus and patronus, that’s it.  He wouldn’t have defeated Professor Quirrell in the first book had it not been for Ron and Hermione, nor would he have gotten out the chamber of secrets alive had it not been for the phoenix and the sorting hat.  But really, without Ron or Hermione, Harry probably would have either flunked out or died halfway through the second book.  If you really examine it, he doesn’t really do anything; it’s either other people doing it for him, or luck saving his ass.  Keep in mind that if Voldemort hadn’t accidently made Potter a horcrux, Harry would be dead.  It was only through the folly of Voldemort that Harry didn’t die at all.

Why is the magical world only relegated to Europe?

There aren’t any Americans in any of the three wizarding schools, the only Indian students are English kids of Indian decent (keep in mind until 1947 India was a colony of the U.K.), and all three wizarding schools are in Europe.  Are the 5.5 billion people living outside of Europe not as magically inclined, or is it just frowned upon everywhere outside of Europe?  Come to think about it, the only parts of Europe where magical events take place are either in the U.K., France, or the former Soviet Union.  I never understood the Diaspora of the magically inclined.

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2 thoughts on “Read Between the Lines of Harry Potter

  1. Jeyna Grace says:

    There are mentions of other Wizarding schools, one in the US as well. Though not built upon, but recognized. I think its called Salem something. LOL

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