Top 10: Most Graphic Red Hot Chili Pepper Lyrics


June 5, 2015 by NowhereButPop

by Andrew Doscas

Even though you could now make a list of all the places that the Chili Peppers reference in their songs (a trend that began with Californication), the Red Hot Chili Peppers spent the first 10 years of their career singing about sex…in the most vivid, absurd, and funniest way possible.  Because sex is funny.  You can dress it up and try to intellectualize it like Freud did, or you can look at it in the most crude, blunt, and humorous ways possible, like Seth Rogen does.  No other band has been able to capture that absurdist, over-the-top humor better than the Chili Peppers.  Here are (only) 10 of their most vivid descriptions:

10) “My eyes popped out, my dick got hard, and I dropped my jaw”

Song: “Apache Rose Peacock”

Album: Blood Sugar Sex Magik

Response: I feel like this is something that would happen to a cartoon character.  Probably one created by Ralph Bakashi.

Fun Fact: “Apache Rose Peacock” was actually written about New Orleans.

9) “I put my middle finger in, you’re monthly blood is what I win”

Song: “Purple Stain”

Album: Californication

Response: Let’s be honest, is that really a prize worth winning?

Fun Fact: I had no idea that this song was about menstruation until I was 20.

8) “My love flows like a wise guy’s tie, in the zaniest of directions, my love protection, my love erection”

Song: “Love Trilogy”

Album: The Uplift Mofo Party Plan

Response: This sound’s weirdly similar to Jewel’s book of poetry.

Fun Fact: According to bassist Flea, “Read ‘Love Trilogy’ and you’ll know what real lyrics are all about”.

7) “Uncontrollable notes, from her snow white throat fill a space, in which two bodies float operatic by voice, a fanatic by choice, aromatic is the flower, she must be moist”

Song: “Blood Sugar Sex Magik”

Album: Blood Sugar Sex Magik

Response: Solely on this list because of the word “moist”.

Fun Fact: “Blood Sugar Sex Magik” was described as “simply sounds like fucking”

6) “Standing there with my hard on bleedin’, there’s a devil in my dick and some demons in my semen”

Song: “Sir Psycho Sexy”

Album: Blood Sugar Sex Magik

Response: It sounds like he may have chlamydia.

Fun Fact: Rumor has it that “Suck My Kiss” was almost left off the album because the original lyrics were “that mouth was made to suck my dick”.  I don’t understand how Warner Bros. had no qualms with “Sir Psycho Sexy”.

5) “Stretching out your tightness time to open up your hole”

Song: “Stretch”

Album: Unreleased song from One Hot Minute

Response: It’s nice to see that even in the midst of a heroin relapse, front man Anthony Kiedis is still forthcoming with his intentions.

Fun Fact: The track “One Big Mob” was actually supposed to segue into “Stretch” as it was to follow that song on One Hot Minute.  The beginning of “Stretch” is actually the ending of “One Big Mob”

4) “I want to party on your pussy”

Song: “Special Secret Song Inside”

Album: The Uplift Mofo Party Plan

Response: By 1987, Kiedis was only writing songs about sex and being hyper.  I’m surprised that he never became the world’s first porn star with ADHD.

Fun Fact: Record label, EMI, refused to release the album with a song titled “Party on Your Pussy”.  The band relented and changed the name of the song to “Special Secret Song Inside” instead.

3) “We are pumpin’ that drivin’ bad rhythm, to make those pretty little pussy lips schism”

Song: “Sex Rap” (…duh)

Album: Freaky Styley

Response: Good use of the word “schism”.

Fun Fact: Produced by George Clinton who owed his drug dealer money.  To settle the tab, Clinton agreed to let his drug dealer sing backing vocal on a few songs on Freaky Styley.

2) “Like a ram getting ready to jam the lamb, she whimpered just a little when she felt my hand, on her crotch so very warm, I could feel her getting wet through her uniform…Unzipped and slipped ooo that’s tight, I swatted her like no swat team can, turned a cherry pie right into jam”

Song: “Sir Psycho Sexy”

Album: Blood Sugar Sex Magik

Response: In all honesty, this list could have probably been constructed solely off lines from “Sir Psycho Sexy”.

Fun Fact: “Sir Psycho Sexy” was played live for the first time in 1989, a full two years before Blood Sugar Sex Magik came out.

1) “I’m inclined to fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck your brains out, for the moment, come on now, make her shout, pump that labia ’till it pouts

Song: “Sex Rap”

Album: Freaky Styley

Response: Wow…

Fun Fact: I’m starting to see a correlation between the explicitness of their lyrics and their distinct lack of success during the band’s early years.

It’s plain to see that the band has grown up as the years have gone by.  By the Way, Stadium Arcadium, and I’m With You are practically devoid of any overt sexual reference and the latter two albums don’t even have the word “fuck” in any of the songs.  But, no matter how many states they can reference in one song, they’ll always be remembered for their creative, and over-the-top sexual lyrics.  I mean, hey, you write what you know about.

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